Randomness

In the Men's Room...
EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
ABSENTMINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.
DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both.
FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.
LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
DISGRUNTLED: Stands for awhile, gives up, walks away.
CONCEITED: Holds two inch dick like a baseball bat.

What do you do?



Has anyone ever had this?


Worlds Worst Tattoo

I always say it's the thought that counts.

Pics





The Rules of Sex
The more beautiful the person is who loves you, the easier it is to leave with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
When the lights are out, everyone is beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The younger the better
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It wasn't the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused trouble in Eden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a 3-letter word which needs old-fashioned 4-letter words to convey its meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight ! !
Love is the delusion that one person differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."

AND SO ENDS THE LESSON IN SEX !

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