Lately I have been thinking how different my life would be if I was out. I’m pretty sure some of my close friends and maybe even a few family members maybe questioning my sexuality, since I have never talked about dating and/or ever having a girlfriend. But I am the type of person who is ALWAYS worried about how other people perceive me. I am always worried how if I do this; what will the person think of me and if I say that; what will they say about me. I know it’s stupid and people are always telling me that I shouldn’t care and I try my hardest not to care about what others think, but I still do. That is why it is EXTREMELY hard for me to image myself ever coming out.
Also the fact that I am an only child, it will be VERY hard for my parents to except the fact that their son will never have a traditional family with a traditional wedding and traditional grandkids. Just the other day I was chatting with my mom and some how the subject of wives came up, and my mom asked me the question that I was dreading hear, it was something along the lines of “how about you have do you have a girlfriend”. I don’t remember exactly what she said because once she asked/said it I just said nope laughed it off and quickly changed the subject. So who knows when and/or if I ever will come out of the closet.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Worried
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1 comment:
My sentiments exactly, man; I could have written this post myself.
Even if people accept my sexuality, I feel like I'll still be self-conscious about being the "gay friend" or "gay brother" or whatever else. I still don't know when or how I can come out to certain people (including my folks).
And yeah, the girlfriend question is miserable. But at the same time, if they don't ask, I stress about whether they suspect the truth.
Just discovered your blog this weekend, by the way. I started my own last week, so it'd be cool if you dropped by. (Unless you're offended by the fact that I'm a Longhorn)
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