To live 'n die in LA...

This was posted on Myspace, I found it pretty funny and many of these things are (sort of) true:

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.

You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.

You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

You make $300,000 a year and can't afford a home.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn.

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You know what In-'N-Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you don't remember at least 1 of them.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

You think that Venice is a beach.

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949/714." Nobody likes anyone from the "909/951" because it stinks there.

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

The gym is packed at 3 pm...on a workday.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's, Subway or a Starbucks You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean.

You know the meaning behind the name of the 405 freeway.... because it takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back.

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH".

The Terminator is your governor.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from LA!